Fragmented Consciousness

by Dan Deagh Wealcan

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about

A few words about:

Fragmented Consciousness is the third page in the history of Russian-Ukrainian experimental duet Dan Deagh Wealcan’s big journey in search of total stylistic madness. More eclectic and more distinctive album is also a conceptual work about the subjective specifics of fragmented consciousness. It’s an attempt of analyzing the various processes that occur in our mind and their influence on our view of reality. It’s a way to gather the pieces of thoughts into one and try to accept yourself for who you really are.
Sixteen musical “fragments” were recorded throughout the year 2015 and together are the inevitable creative evolution of the duet, maintaining the distinctive style of the previous two albums and bringing new overtones along as well.
The stylistic classification of the band is getting harder and harder with every released album. It is a bizarre melting pot of Industrial, Post-Hardcore, Progressive, Alternative-Metal, Art-Rock, Electronic, Noise, Symphonic-Rock, New-Prog, Mathcore.

credits

released February 15, 2016

Music was written, arranged, programmed, performed, recorded,
mixed, digitally edited & produced by Mikhail A. Repp (11.2014 -
09.2015) in Moscow, RF. Lyrics and vocals by Eugene (IOWA)
Zoidze-Mishchenko. Lyrics concept by M. A. Repp. Vocals were
recorded by Eugene (IOWA) Zoidze-Mishchenko (11.2014 - 06.2015)
in Zaporizhzhya, UA. Voice in “a-void” by M. A. Repp. Mastered by
Anton Vorozhtsov at TA Production, Zaporizhzhya, UA. Photos and
design by M. A. Repp. Executive producer: Natalia Repp.

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about

Dan Deagh Wealcan Moscow, Russia

Music Project.
Russia & Ukraine.
Experimental Duo.
Mikhail A. Repp.
Eugene “Iowa” Zoidze-Mishchenko.

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Track Name: Neednothing
I don’t need anything
Get it out of my head

Good god? It try to sleep.
Don’t start this shit right now!
I’m tired. I’m full.
And now I’m speaking to my own brain

I don’t need anything, I need nothing
I don’t need anything. Get it out of my head!

{All the fragments. All this memories.
I don’t need them right now.
I don’t want them to stay.
All this thoughts.
All this unneeded emotions
I just want to be me again} *

But the crowd won’t go away.

Still position is what I need.
But my crowded mind taps my vein to feed.
Dancing and screaming,
the thoughts march through my brain.
I don’t know whether to die,
or lead the parade!

Why do they need to stay?
I don’t want to feel anything anymore.
Please, give me something that I can ignore.

* repeat

I don’t need anything.
Get it out of my head!

ADD is my case today
I can not concentrate on anything
I feel only fragments of thoughts
And when I close my eyes I see
the patterns swirling and changing.
Asymmetrical, unresting, painful
psychic kaleidoscope.

I don’t need anything,
I need nothing.
Track Name: Number*Nine
Number 9 is somewhat magical.
Although I’m tired after all.
The previous eight were tough,
But the last one beats them all

I’ve tried to cope with this world,
But it had shown it’s teeth
I’ve tried to manage my own head,

Unsheathe my mighty sword
And gallop with an oath?
Been there. Done that. This
method didn’t prove it’s worth.

{#Nine is magical.
The last one always is.
I won’t try once more} *

I have tried to be like everyone,
But I failed rather miserably.

I tried to be the same as you.
To think like you, to act like you.
Eight fucking times I tried and tried.
This one will be the last draw.

I will conform, I will agree.
I’ll let the world to govern me.
And in the end I wanna see...

What is left of me?
* repeat

No more of giving up to you! I am me!
And it was always me!
No more of thinking just like you! I am me!
And it was always me!

Nine! Nine fucking times!
I failed so much that
I think it wasn't right way
Why? Why did I even try?
Was I afraid of my individuality?
Track Name: [Stuck.in.This]
I’m stuck in this unending stream.
And all my life became routine.
I’m like a bug on a thread.
I’m circling through my life.

{Caged inside a loop.
I am out to get free} *

I’m stuck in this unresting spin.
Just like a fly on sticky tape.
My wings are free,
but legs are trapped
In glue of apathy.

* repeat

Stuck in this unending stream.
Stuck in this unresting spin.

Every day I feel the same.
Nothing changes in any way.
Every moment I get through
Is like an endless déjà vu.

Where are my dreams?
I had quite a few.
Gone, buried under mundane,
day-to-day activities.
And what is left of me?
Lazy, stinking blob of fat,
ranting about his
problems, but never
doing anything
to solve them!
Pathetic!

I am just a pathetic lazy prick!
Track Name: I'am=Confused
What page I was on?
I don’t know, but I need to.
This state of mind drives me nuts.

It feels like a dream though I know it’s not.
As for now, it is the only thing I know for sure.

{I’m confused. Overused.
Scattering thoughts I can’t use} *

I speak, then I forget what
I was talking about
Then I return to start
And don’t know how to go on

I know that I’m awake,
But it feels like a dream.
Did you ever had a dream,
When you’re in a crowded
room and you’re naked?
That confusion I feel, when
I’m awake. Oh, what a drag,
you might say.
You don’t know what is like
To host inside your brain
such a fragmented mind.

You don’t know how it feels,
When you can’t think straight.

I’m awake!
* repeat

What page I was on?
I don’t know, but I need to.
This state of mind drives me nuts.
It feels like a dream, and I don’t even
know for sure that I’m awake.

I need defragmentation...
Track Name: GreatAttractor
instrumental
Track Name: In5tasis
I don’t like words. I don’t believe them.
Try not to speak. But think instead.

Though once the thoughts
sound like they are drowning
I lay down and turn the switch off.

{All this - away!
The thoughts - away!
Let me be hollow
The words - away!
Nothing - to stay
My tongue I swallow} *

I lay in stasis.
Waiting for something.

{Comatose.
Reality overdose} **

* repeat

{I lay in stasis.
Waiting for something.
Silent and hollow.
My tongue I swallow} ***

No one should interrupt my slumber. My
serenity Is too precious to break. But every
time the words start to knock in my ears.
And they stomp, and they scream. And they
break my silence. And drag me out of my
tranquility! Oh, the audacity! Now you know
why I don’t like words. They are loud
and obnoxious. They drive me mad!

* repeat

** repeat

*** repeat
Track Name: strangeWAR
Waging war, when no
one ever really loses.
Strange war when there
is only one man fighting.

I like to keep everything under
a strict and firm control.

I’m always ready to
kick myself in the arts.
In order to save my soul.

Can’t let my other self loose.
This slacker would get
lost in his own house.

Strange war.
But every time I back
up from him.
Strange war.
I pity this fool
in spite of me.

I’m the paranoid one, always
afraid, always looking
back over my shoulder,
waiting for a strike.
I’m the overbearing one,
always standing behind,
ready to save the other
one from his mistakes.

I am Jack’s mental fucking disorder.
I don’t even know who this Jack is.
I guess I took the name from some movie.

Strange war
Track Name: bleedThrough:
I’m leaking through reality, to my displeasure
With the speed that I cannot even measure.
Bleeding through the side of the four-dimensional
cube. Into unknown…

Bleeding. I’m bleeding thr0ugh.

With the sound of cracking nails
I slip in. Clawing, trying not to fall in the
delusional state of mind I cant, try as I might.

Bleeding. (Breathing, Aching, Dying)
I’m bleeding through.

I feel dead fingers in my head.
They mess it all, they tear it all.
Cold, dead fingers in my head.
Pushing me.

I’m 1eaking through reality, to the other side.
I cannot see it, but I feel it with my feet.
There’s nothing pleasant about this feeling at all.

Bleeding. (Crying, Screaming, Dying)
I’m bleeding through

{I cannot see what’s
inside the machine. That’s grinding me.
Squashing me. Slicing me. Devouring me} *

I’m leaking through reality.

I’m crying as I’m bleeding through.
I’m aching as I’m bleeding through.
I’m screaming asI’m bleeding through.
I’m dying as I’m bleeding through.

* repeat

I’m leaking through reality.
Track Name: Private_asylum.
Retreat to my head.
Back into my shell I crawl.
Gnawing at my finger nails.
I will wait and bleed.

Welcome to my lair.
A temple of my cowardice.
The place I like to go,
When the world gives me hard time.
When I don’t like something.
When something doesn’t like me.
When I need salvation from this madness.

{It’s my private. Private Asylum.
You can walk in. But only for a while} *

Welcome to my home. My personal reality.

Spiders and mice and the dust in the corners.
Skeletons in closets and blood on the shrine.
She told me and I did it, I excised everything.
But then she disappeared as well.

* repeat

Then you must leave.
Before I changed my mind.
My temple can be deadly and vile.
Exit is lightened in green.
Excuse me for not escorting you out.

getoutofmyhead!!!
...please
Track Name: Broken)Cluster
Cryptic mind to unveil. It’s difficult ‘cause it’s mine.
I walk inside. Management of the soul.
It’s difficult, ‘cause it’s hard to be objective

I’m managing the broken clusters now.

Cognitive dissonance can be fun,
If it’s not bestowed upon ya.
Otherwise, you’re fucked.
The society dictates it’s terms.
If you’re not in, you’re out.

Some of things that I know
Are different from what others think.
Who is wrong? If everyone says something,
should I believe it too?

{Sometimes I don’t wanna go out on the streets, because
everything out there is so unlike what I have known.
Everyone is fucked in the head!
They keep telling me what’s right and what’s wrong:
How to cross the street, how to change the lanes, what
I should say! But nothing makes any goddamn sense!
Am I the only one who think that everyone else is nuts?} *

Managing the broken clusters.

I’m managing the broken clusters now.

* repeat

Don’t wanna try. I don’t wanna try.

Looking for the broken clusters.
But are they really flawed?

Managing the broken clusters
Track Name: A-Void
instrumental
Track Name: Memory+Mngmnt
I’m thumbing through my memories
And see a lot of faces.
Some I know, the others are only strangers.
I wonder where they’ve gone.
They aren’t around anymore.

I wander whether they’re alive
And my brain is here to please me.
Pictures of dead people in my head.

{The more I live, the more I’m trying to forget.
Try to unsee and unknow.
All of those who shared this world with me.
But aren’t there anymore} *

Memories are heavy.

They pile up and blacken my vision.
I’m diggin’ in, try to unravel something pleasant,
But the longer I live, the more deaths show up.

Memories!

* repeat

They call - I fall
Down - Inside

I try to manage them, store
them in someplace secure.
But the memories of dead people
are pretty much alive in me.

Loved ones, strangers, looking back.
I watch them changing as they
live there on their own.
My head became a purgatory
for them to roam.

* repeat
Track Name: De.Fragmentation
Come on! Bring in the doctor!
Some kind of shrink
To help me gather my thoughts.

Damn! Every time I try to concentrate,
Those pesky fragments all fly away.

Defragmentation failed.
All the hierarchy is flawed.
Liquid thoughts flow away.
Defragmentation failed.

All my thoughts
are dispersed
throughout the brain.

I feel like I’m full.
[everything is wrong]

Defragmentation failed.
All the hierarchy is flawed.
Defragmentation failed.
Liquid thoughts flow away.

I feel like I’m full.
[everything is wrong]
Track Name: Enou8h...
Too late for self diggin’ and wrong time to pray.
Too late for regrets – defragmentation failed.

And I don’t care enough to try again.
Now I will just live with myself.
Be, breathe while I can breathe.
Move further, towards the end.

Fragmented mind will live fragmented life

And now I do not have much words left to say.
Well, I kinda was not a speaker anyway.
But I tried to express my feelings in songs.
If you don’t care, then please move along.

And I will go
wherever legs take me.
In any direction.
To any conclusion.

Fragmented mind will live fragmented life

Wherever it takes me.
Whatever I feel.
I will live with this consciousness,
I tried to conceal.

I don’t wanna be this,
but I have no choice.
And don’t mind if I
speak in a different voice.

I AM ME AND I EMBRACE MYSELF
Track Name: Dissolution:176
instrumental